The Chaser's War on Everything - The Eulogy song episode 20

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The famous Eulogy song



and this is for the searches
Stan zemanek peter brock steve irwin princess diana john lennon jeff mcmullen yoko ono jeff buckley belinda emmett andrew hansen john f kennedy paul mccartney peter meakin booze bus pimpmobile
Here it is, folks...

My great-grandfather died this week. I couldn't stand him, actually, nobody could, but as soon as he passed away everybody went around saying what a top bloke he was. I'd like to dedicate this song to you, Gramps.

He was very hard of hearing
He was dull and domineering
Misogynous, cantankerous and vain
He hit the bottle every night
He hit my grandma out of spite
And those stories about his bunions were a pain

But all that's now forgotten
Once he took his final breath
Yes, even pricks turn into top blokes after death

You don't believe me? Allow me to furnish you with a few examples.

Steve Irwin lived in khaki
A cartoon kamikaze
Who taunted crocs and tots so frequently
And Brocky was some revhead who pumped the air with pure lead
So anti-green he drove into a tree

But all that was forgotten
Once they took their final breath
Yes, even tools turn into top blokes after death

John Lennon chose the hippie life
He chose some nutbag for a wife
And his songs were never quite as good as Paul's
Jeff Buckley fooled all lovers
Just one album, mostly covers
With more whaling than Japan does off our shores

But all that was forgotten
Once he took his final breath
Yes, even wankers turn into top blokes after death

Princess Di was just a slut for sex
When they looked in the car wreck
Her dress was wet with Arab semen stains
Stan Zemanek was a racist jock
A fatso xenophobic cock
Whose views were more malignant than his brain

But all that was forgotten
Once he took his final breath
Yes, even arseholes turn into top blokes after death

It's not how they lived that counts, but how we re-write the book
When it comes to truth it's best to use restraint
It pays to throw away the facts and have a rose-coloured look
When he dies Martin Bryant will look a saint

Don Bradman was a total bastard
Grumpy, greedy, tight-arsed
Who couldn't even score one run last time he played
Kerry Packer was a brothel chief,
A tax cheat and a kidney thief
And procreating Jamie was the worst mistake he made

But all that was forgotten
Once he took his final breath
Yes, even c*nts turn into top blokes after death

Belinda Emmett was a.....

(anxious hushings by the other Chasers)

Remember all will be forgotten once we take our final breath
Yes even pervert motherfuckers
Even rampant child abusers
Even local Baghdad looters
Even baby bunny rooters
Even reckless drunken drivers
Even rodent sperm imbibers
Even violent p**fter bashers
Even public penis flashers
Even rotting corpse-molesters
Even human piss ingesters
Even tiny kitten kickers
Even anal finger lickers
Even Anna bloody Coren
Yes, even she will be a top bloke after death