The Professor's Torch by The Shilling Family (1973)

Details

Description

A play written for cassette, shortly after our acquiring a Hitachi TRQ-291 cassette recorder (with microphone).

The script:

[Narrator:] We present The Professor’s Torch, a play specially written for cassette.
The scene is the Professor’s workshop

[SFX: Workshop noises, tapping and banging]

Prof: I have been making a torch, Mr Haddock, and it makes funny noises, so I am taking it to Mrs Haddock.

Mr Haddock: Very well, Professor, I think that’s a good idea. I shall drive you there – my car is just outside

[SFX: Footsteps inside; door closes; footsteps outside. Garden gate shuts.]

Mr H: Jump in, Professor.

[SFX: Car doors open then shut. Engine starts and car drives away. Car arrives, engine turns off. Car doors shut.]

Mr H: Ah there’s my wife at the gate.

Prof: Hallo Mrs Haddock, can you stop this torch from making noises? I know that you are very good at doing things like that. Can you do it this time, Mrs Haddock?

Mrs H: Aye, please come in

[SFX: Gate opens and closes. Footsteps. Workshop noises, Lego motor and tapping]

Mrs H: Well, Professor, I have been working on your torch for two hours now. I’m afraid I can’t remove the squeak, but I have changed it into ‘Tvinkel, tvinkel, little star – listen!

[SFX: Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star]

Prof: Oh Mrs Haddock, well done! I don’t mind that half so much as the squeak.

Mr H: Tell me, Professor, why are you making this torch? Is there some special reason?

Prof: Well, it isn’t just a torch, it’s also a special detector for firescone, a very rare metal which I need for my next invention. I have reason to believe that there may be some in that old mine on Hunters Hill. I am going down there this very afternoon. Thank you very much for your assistance, Mrs Haddock. I must be on my way now, so goodbye!

[SFX: Door opens, footsteps, door closes]

Mrs H (somewhat perturbed): Oh! He knows about the firescone, we must stop him at all costs! I received a message only this morning from headquarters, M77 has given orders that the new metal must be kept secret for at least another month, so that our tests can be completed on the new secret weapon!

Mr H: Yes, you’re right, there’s only one thing to be done. When he’s in the mine, we could loosen some of the old timbers. We’ll loosen some of the old timbers so it’ll make it look like a roof fall. He won’t be found for months! [Evil laugh] Heh, heh heh heh!

[SFX: water lapping. The acoustic changes to a cavern]

Prof: It’s very dark down here. What a splendid idea of mine to make the firescone detector into a torch. I think I might have to go deep into the mine; I had better go back for those spare batteries I left near the entrance.

[SFX: Roof falls in (pile of wooden bricks knocked over!)]

Prof: What was that noise, I wonder? I expect it’s only the rats. But what’s this? The entrance is blocked up. I am trapped! The roof has collapsed!

[Outdoors:]

Child 2: Let’s have a game of ball

Child 1: Yeah, come on, throw! Missed it! Where did it go?

C2: I think it went somewhere over there in the old mine.

C1: My mummy said I mustn’t go down there.

C2: Oh come on – can’t have gone far!

[In the mine:]

C1: I think it’s creepy in here; I can’t see the ball anywhere

C2: Listen, did you hear that?

C1: What?

[SFX: Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star]

C1: Oh yeah, it sounds like music. Oooh it sounds like it’s haunted, I’m getting out of here!

C2: No, wait. [Shouts:] Is anyone there?

Prof: Help! I am trapped! The roof has fallen in. Get help – run to PC Edwards’ house.

[SFX: Outdoor running… Doorbell rings, door opens.]

PC Edwards: Oh, Professor, I hope you’ve recovered from your experience now. You’ll be glad to hear that the Haddocks were caught in the act of sending a message on their secret transmitter, saying that you’d been trapped by them in the old mine. They’re safely [ensconced] now in one of my cells. So you’ll have no more trouble from them.

Prof: Well done, officer. I can now finish my new invention in peace. I always thought those Haddocks were a fishy couple!

Narrator: You have been listening to The Professor’s Torch, written by George, Charles and Mrs Shilling. The cast was as follows: Professor was George Shilling, Mr Haddock - Charles Shilling, Mrs Haddock - Mrs Shilling, First Child - Charles, Second Child - George, PC Edwards - Eric, Mr Shilling